sandsofrhyme

Respite

2012-01-24T11:39:00.000-08:00

The time has come, it is dusk
The sun has set, the flower droops
Sleep has crept in and so has calm
Buzz of the day has left without a clue

The day had promise
inspiration and dream
Even strokes in the air
would turn to reality

Now it has swept away
in the evening breeze
with nothing to hold onto
I feel free

I am willing to give up
Content to rest
Not chasing, not burning
Flown back to my nest

What I clutched dearly
left sooner than late
and what I didn't seek
found me nevertheless

One bright, the other unknown
life against peace
both with their own pleasures
both, I figured, necessary.

2011-05-13T10:42:00.001-07:00

As I closed my eyes for sleep last night, I wondered if I had erred about everything in life.. how else could someone have all odds against him? Not used to giving in, or giving up, everyday seemed to be demanding just that from me. Dreams I held near, ties I held dear - they all seemed to fall apart. The phase wasn't altogether new and I had survived it before, but how long could I continue? Questions loomed large - if that something, needed me to change who I was.. was it worth it?
I hated myself for giving it my all.

But then again, I loved myself for it. That was me. I hadnt changed. It was important to be passionate. If it didnt pay back, it would never be your fault and you could always live with it. I closed my eyes knowing I would spring back on my feet come morning. If not me, who else ;) Come on.. prove me right.

Back with 'Bang'alore

2011-02-02T00:00:00.000-08:00

Just when I started to think
if Bangalore was all home and food
bustling relatives, newfound links
roads seemingly dug out for good
the new Mumbai.. maybe why not
that fast and vibrant for sure
dusty, noisy, no air for thought
the picture seemed drastically poor..
just then I witnessed Bangalore Habba
the colours, the music, the life
a bunch of teens dj-ing at Rangashankara
even as Attakkalari was rife
old friends, older trees, untouched hang-outs
and all questions were washed away
Bangalore is all home no doubt
something for everyone there

Grimm Tale [Temptations]

2010-11-30T19:56:00.000-08:00

The lights go out. Mary Cole shouts "places". Matt turns the music on. Lights on. A pair of limbs sneak out of the wing. Then the rest of the little girl. She seems to be from pre-historic Germany and is seen amusing herself with a shirt. Enter a boy about the same age, looking for something. He takes his shirt, they see each other. Years pass by and the two are seen having the time of their life. Building sand castles..studying together.. stealing their first cigarette..playing cricket.. getting drunk.. dancing in the rain.. A sweeper passes, in a twitched hat, sweeping the stage in front of them from left to right.

Next scene: Boy and girl look hungry and in search of something.They split as they are looking and go different ways on stage. At different instants of time they find separately what they seem to be looking for. A look of greed and filling dawns on them and they exit on opposite sides of the stage, reaching for it.

Next scene: They are both seen bound, entangled, struggling to free themselves. Minutes of struggle after, the "sweeper" passes by again from the right to left. A huge trash-can occupies the left of the stage. Boy and girl appear to scream for help. Sweeper is unaffected, comes to the can, looks at them, then at the audience. Flashes a wicked toothless smile, picks broom, thrusts it in the can upside down, and starts mixing. Lights go out.

Next scene: Stage is clear. Only boy and girl still struggling to be free. No bounds this time. Lights snap out.

Next scene: Stage clear. A video pops up on the left of the screen downstage. Irregularly torn snaps of their happy times flash up and zoom out to lie on a winding road, one after another. On the right side of the screen a video starts halfway through the first. It shows ropes falling down in circles.

Will they pick crumbs of happy memories and head back home...? Will they continue to be bound...?

Lights fade out.

Attempted ......

2010-10-18T19:57:00.000-07:00

It was the worst year of my life
I had totally given up
saw myself nowhere, doing nothing
completely out of all the luck

One evening I walked to the students home
closed the door behind me
checked that no one else was around
and thought how horrid my life was to be

When I could take it no more
I walked into the kitchen with resolve
changed and washed myself clean
and slowly turned the gas on the stove

But the mind was so occupied
with thoughts much beyond the first
that I must have groped on till I found
the knife that I held ready to thrust

I stood back and recollected
how it could be done
from books and hearsay and accidents
knowing it had worked for some

Finally I willed myself to it
clasping the knife in my hand stronger
a dish later when the smoke went up
I knew I could live a day longer

Invictus

2010-10-14T17:45:00.000-07:00

Out of my sight
Far beyond my reach
Looms in my mind
beckoning me to unleash

A dream-the dream of a young heart
There for as long as I remember
Defeated oft, back with a new start
to find the same end as ever

Just an idea, a thought
surviving the worst in me
Neither planted nor sought
stands guard my integrity

Hear, follow, keep it burning
There is no other way
When I walk far without returning
It shall still stay in its place

Michigan turning a new leaf

2010-10-09T08:18:00.000-07:00

It has been a year of toil and bitterness and khali pet. An all engulfing cold that entered deeper that it should. A nightmare even when deprived of sleep. They say company defines a place. Here it wasn't quite like that. The only company you saw day in and day out was the people who you were a team with. The hang out was one of the CAEN labs in EECS building. We lived-in together, got high on fixing bugs, proposed only project plans and did it over and over. The fact that I came out with more pounds than I ever ate can only be attributed to our dear vending machine that spit out pastries and coke. I say dear because even on the gigantic campus of a world-class university only vending machines served you anything after midnight. There would be times when I walked back home alone at 4 am pulling myself in the ankle-deep snow with only a jacket sometimes. It would seem scary if I for once stopped thinking about the design problem and saw where I was going. I couldnt dare to think of a world after. It stretched forever. Was there any salvation?
Seems like there was. It came in many ways. Two recognition awards for killing ourselves in the projects was one. Another was being swept off my feet to a dream summer for internship. The third was what lay in store when I came back.
Another semester at school. With the freedom to choose the courses I want there seems to be a ray of light. Even the approaching winter it feels like a warm place when I am doing theatre and dance. I dont believe I want to stay on in this place I called "God - forsaken" ;) Thats what following one's heart translates to I guess. I am glad I followed mine.

Galway Girl gets to say

2010-10-09T07:54:00.000-07:00

I took a stroll down memory lane
On a day i-ay i-ay
I met this guy standing there
On the way i-ay i-ay
He smiled and looked, not a word mind you
it was a look, that pulled me through
The wind in his hair, he gave me his hand
a knight in armour, from a faraway land

All other sounds just faded out
that day i-ay i-ay
People walking by seemed all lost
and I found my way i-ay
The tenderness, in his eyes too
I could tell it was, something I knew
Waves in the air, from the missing guitar
sailed all the same, to my happy heart

There was nothing more to wait for
I dare say i-ay i-ay
Life as I knew it ended there
that day i-ay i-ay

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKIl-v18mgo

Heaven

2010-09-26T08:02:00.000-07:00

Streaks of gold,
a pale blue canvas
patches of green stretching out to reach,
barely grabbing glimpses of shine...
Music of the sky,
of patterns flying by..
Heaven perhaps is not what they preach
but another day at sunrise.

Finding Neverland

2010-06-28T12:50:00.000-07:00

Little had I foreseen such a day
across seas in unknown land
crippled by work, deprived of play
time slipping by like grains of sand
removed from kin, estranged from friends
blessed, yet not, in undying love
spirit shaken, unwilling to bend
ghost-like.. struggling to rise above

Losing oneself, losing the mind
little else to lose made let go
give in to new "friends" in time
and set out on a journey for more
arriving clueless on new shores
in the land of dreams, the wonderland
in a city of angels, magic galore
as if just touched with a wand
that colour infused pale cheeks
sparks lit up in sleepy eyes
alive first time in several weeks
yearning again for just one slice
knew in a second purpose and passion
beyond pressures, pretence and prayer
feeling the elusive love and vision
clear as a ghost, fresh as fear

demons dead, angels overhead
was it just that? neverland?
not there to touch, feel or tread
only a trace of life left behind

Last night

2010-06-05T12:52:00.000-07:00

The bottle rolled
Some behinds too
As questions fired
For who dared for truth

Crushes, fantasies, proposals
Poured out for all to see
None was spared in truth or dare
Not a princess or plain Annie

Koke added fizz, Gope pulled "Aaawwww"s
made some nostalgic, others down-pouring..
Leo, the 'sole'-ful story teller
Kept the whole lot roaring

Macs forever shy, struggled to scoot
Questions made his hair (:D) rise
As we thundered for more, the clock struck 4
And an angry neighbour stopped by

!!Bleep!!

Behind the scenes

2010-05-22T18:21:00.000-07:00

It was exactly a year ago. I had resigned from my job at Infineon...to "chill out" before I went for my PG ; one way - the Indian School of Business or the other - the university of Michigan.
Chill out I did. If you can call a landslide-cyclone packed trek in Sikkim + a weekend out in pristine Agumbe + a vacation in Singapore, Malaysia and Kashmir, that ;)

In between setting off on this tangent (:)) I had been to Texas Instruments[TI], Bangalore for an audition for a short film they were making. I very well knew I would be gone soon and that the film would take some time (considering it was an unconventionally creative venture by ..umm engineers). Yet the idea of acting kept me mum (I did not lie, mind you) so I could relish a few rehearsals atleast if I could.
So I walked in sheepishly that evening into the TI studio. I had not acted for more than 3 years then. Som, Neeraj and Prashant (my friend from RVCE who had called me for auditions) were all there. No smiles, no sweet-nothings. It was so silent I almost heard their thoughts. Just another outsider desperate to get on camera. Everybody else was from TI. "Relax" I told myself. "Be humble. Just do your best".
They had a piece from a Jack Nicholson movie that they handed us all to act out by turns. The first rendition was the conventional one, as had to be. I went over it as did 3-4 other people. I could sense the jury (Som and Neeraj) already handing the role to their colleague who I felt I did better than (you must take my word that I was objective). It was then that Neeraj , I think, had this brilliant idea of doing the scene - CRAZILY. Believe me, only he could think of it. I was thankful that they were actually interested in digging out talent and not just looking for someone who could only do one role (that they had in mind) well.
Cameras rolled, and I, for one, couldn't wait to do it.
"You are the same character. But show villainy". They told me. The plot, let me explain, was a woman talking a detective into proving her husband unfaithful.
I jumped into it. Thankfully all the years had not curbed the spontaneity. I felt I was getting back to being myself. I felt alive.

It went okay-ish. Maybe I overacted. They gave me some feedback and I did it again. I could tell I got their attention what with reminding the detective his lines too and helping him pronounce my 'husband's' name...

Next they could have been throwing a meteor at me. They asked me if a certain Ms Sawant was to be the woman, how would she do it? I pleaded for some mercy but got none. "Alright, bring it on." Only once when I was doing it did I catch Som's eye. I did not stop to analyse the look. When I was done, something told me I had gotten the role. Suddenly I felt like I had known them for so long. Som and Neeraj and I - it felt like - we were online friends meeting for the first time. We spoke the same language. Prashanth stood behind, beaming. It was one of the happiest days of my life. Thanks Prashanth, for making that call!

They were rehearsals every week and the thought of my post-graduation went out the window. Neeraj's antics with the dialogues, the kidnapping scenes, our improvisations...ooo I didn't have enough.
I did have some time before I had to take a call. I asked myself if I couldn't stay on and do this all my life..? Had these guys been regular film makers, or had I been in TI, maybe I would have done that. Really.
The next morning I called Som and told him of my PG admit. He was cool about it. It was so easy to tell him, as it was to tell Neeraj. Only Vibhor, the third juror :P (Prashanth told me later) complained that I should have not come for auditions if I didnt mean to see it through. As for Prashanth, he was in it all the time :) A true friend.
Whatever Vibhor thought and whatever anyone else said, I know I was guilty on that account, but that one 'crime' won me happy moments and 2 invaluable friends who I truly adore for their creativity. They reinstated the faith in me that even among engineers can be people like them. Som, Neeraj, Prashanth this one's for you guys.
Cut!

To sir, with .... :)

2010-03-28T22:36:00.000-07:00

Like silver lining in a cloud
You showed up out of BLUE

Turning something I dread
to what I can endure

Your power subdues all noise,
a spike here and a glitch there -
so easily you leak them away
and make it seem all fair.

Everything falls in place
When I hear from your mouth,
Accolades and honours have passed
Yet there is no sign of wear out :)

I cant help smile as you go on
oh yes, about process variation
No wonder you are good at it,
I can sense that in my system ;)

I care not about threatening glares
When I vote for you to go on
Sometimes the only hand up
That you so adoringly reckon

But for your charm and wit,
it would all go for a toss
Anybody else would have made it
a mere VLSI class ;)

Spring... finally..!

2010-03-20T12:50:00.000-07:00

The chill recedes little by little
Still hard to know, its so subtle
The 'fair' world that was
Turns over a new leaf..

Fingers turn back alive
In the dead of the night
You wonder suddenly
why you care less for coffee

People step out
Healthy joggers or stout
Kids come out of nowhere
Happy to be on their feet

Ducks fly back to melted lakes
Squirrels jump out from their hiding place
The sun flashes an endless smile
And you realize it is spring indeed!

Just pondering...

2009-12-12T21:43:00.000-08:00

On a journey beyond the horizon
Clouds sail away together
Only ever stopping to pull another along
As though with outstretched arms

So like birds that without ever a word
Flock their lot and steer away
Decided, focussed and in harmony
As though they were never apart

The smoke from a chimney of a country cottage
Rises up like a mute white siren
Only to lose itself into the air
That embraces it no matter what

Far away rings a bell, without breaking the silence
Note after note ripples out so well
Like a string of beads strewn, yet held tight
Like they've come from nowhere and played a part

Nature as though has locks and keys
That are so made for each other
So uncomplicated, so natural
So different from human thought

Bangaloooooooore!!!!

2009-11-23T19:26:00.000-08:00

Miles away and across seas
I look through my window, longing to see
The familiar rustle of the peepul tree
That has grown old with me

Just as I strain my eyes
To look yet for the lanes
That I've painfully left behind
Hoping to go back to again

The 'cool' joint, golas and guppe
CCD's strawberry frappe....
To one I owe the spice in me
To the other, my meethi baatein ;)

The 8th mile was my fave abode..
As much as comm street and MGs
So was south end, away from crowds
Into tenderly sprawling trees

I miss your rains.. long rides on my bike..
Rushing in the last hour for movie tickets..
Where I am is still a quiet life
But there was calm in your busiest markets

Pandora's box, that's what you are
With so much tucked in your kitty
I would only play down your charm
If I called you a mere city

I'd rather say a mother
You've raised me like my other
Through sunny days, in wind and gale
That I can love you no lesser

Can't imagine being anywhere else
The thought of you rings a thousand bells
My book of memories closed for now
Stay put,
I'll return,
your's in love :)

Down the lane

2009-11-07T13:46:00.000-08:00

Lonely girl in a new country, bogged down by the amount of study ahead, a building dislike to it, sourly homesick, barely wanting to stay - that was me walking the streets of Ann Arbor a little after beginning my Masters at the University of Michigan. To make matters worse, I am this conservative middle class 'independent' woman who is here of course on her dad's grace (read funds) but wants to lessen that burden by taking a part-time job. And what may that be? A dignified authority (with trimmed glasses?) typing away efficiently at the front desk of one of the 19 majestic more-Vatican-than-anything-American-about-it libraries that the university prides on...? Well almost... cut out the front desk, and the dignity and then me (there wasn't glasses anyway). All it turned out to be was carrying around a heavy load of 17th century books that looked like they'd been abandoned out in all of Michigan's winters; on my own feet and with my own hands(!) - in nothing less than that same winter. Add to that a pinch of a rude red boss. Howzzat? Too much for me. Nonetheless the lure of the extra dollars (even if to sip some amazing hot hazelnut coffee) tugged me on.... and it was on one of those 'trips' that I had to go to the library of the world-famous Ross School of Business at the University. Let me tell you that I am this die-hard b-school aspirant who couldn't tire of writing the CAT back home. Ross was the stuff of my dreams (among other things - I am not all that boring :P). Well what have you? If I was in a movie you would see me dropping my bag of books with an open jaw while some good piano played away in the background. Lets just say it was nothing less of an effect for me :) The next 5 hours saw me scourging the 'branding/ads' section of the library randomly picking books, flipping through, exclaiming to myself, making notes of interesting quotes, all excited almost like I was back home...Maybe I was. Like all good things come to an end, I was drawn out of my reverie when the grand clock there struck a time that would see my boss packing up for the day mouthing -'whats-her-name-tell-her-she-needn't-come-back-at-all!' obscenities that I could almost hear from a mile away. Phew.. out I go.
Today, here I am, thanking him to have made go there (only for that mind you) which I would have done much later if not for him. Never mind that I saved whatever 'dignity' I had and called it quits at the library ;) I am just out of my first class at Ross. Oh yes, I managed to persuade a Professor there to let me take his class on .. guess what.. brand management :) What a class it was! Well I woudn't feel like my Professor's student without signing off with a powerful punch....
Winter always paves way for spring,
Hail Michigan is all I can sing :)

Choices

2009-11-03T21:08:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I sit back and think
That's the only time I feel sane
I look at us running after things
And can't help feeling lame

We run after money
We run after fame
It is one to so many
And it is too short a game

I look at busy bosses
Most with calculated smiles
I wonder if that counts as losses
Is it really a different life?

And I turn to the less "blessed"
Light-hearted, full of life
Even if their life's in a mess
They seem to do more than get by

My heart tells me it is little joys that count
Like an old friend once told me
I had shrugged it off as a loser's note
I now know what it means

Wrecking the kitchen with my friends,
The songs and dances and shoots
Spontaneous poems with no start or end
with more lies than truth..
...candle lit parties on the terrace
shouts and cries rising much above
waiting for stars with a wishful face
and only ever praying for love

Strange, this is the stuff that springs to mind
Not an award, not yet money or despair
There's this and that... but you should find
The light that begins your day.

Yeh dooriyan - a translation

2009-08-12T15:59:00.000-07:00

These distances

Of paths, of dreams, of travellers

I wish they went away...

Why someone is closer, another apart -

Does anyone here know ?

Am I getting there or moving away

Doesn't matter, but I must go.

It has happened before

In the days of yore

You walked beside me on deserted roads

Sometimes I returned,

After talking to you in tons

Longing, feeling so alone

Oh, it has happened again

I dare not feign

I find you in everything, all the way

These distances

Bring me back to you, whatever I say

I wish they would go away

I never told you the truth

That there's nothing left to lose

If you aren't there

Nor even did I say

To keep a distance if we may

Enough to keep it in the air

These distances

I know they can't stay

I wish they went away....

Long journey

2009-08-10T04:46:00.000-07:00

It was the final good bye. I waved and stood in my place in the long queue. If there was anything more frustrating than leaving it was to stand in the queue motionless without even being able to see them or talk to them. I avoided looking their way. But somewhere the corner of my eye did not forget to notice my mother's apprehensive face. She was waving and waiting for a response. I could not stop. I know from the looks I got from my neighbours that I must have cried non-stop. The next few minutes went by mechanically shoving papers in and out. I went through the security. Only a few days ago, on her first trip abroad, my mother was standing next to me asking a hundred questions like "what to do next?" "what will they ask me?" And I had calmed her down and said, "Don't worry. I will take care of everything. You just look around and have a good time." And here I was longing for her.... When I finally finished all the formalities and sat down in the lounge to wait for my plane, I realized I was 45 minutes early. I picked up the phone that I had fortunately tucked in. I did not miss the sob that she desperately tried to hide. I hung up talking to the whole lot of my people - dad, brother, cousins and grandma, wishing I didn't have to reassure them that it was only a couple of years......God knows it sounded like eternity to my own ears. It was the first time I had hugged my dad... the first time I missed my brother....the first time I had told my friends how much I loved them. What I always knew hit me harder. Had I to go? The announcement answered for me. I made myself a promise and walked away, my vision blurred. I was not strong to listen to my heart and go back that day, but I knew I was strong enough to keep my promise.

A night to remember ;-)

2009-05-17T20:35:00.000-07:00

A boy of five, was I
'twas the best of summer time,
Away from the evil school
My hols were going just fine :)

This day I sauntered into the house
Smelly and hungry like a fat mouse
When mommy turned and flashed her smile
"Darling, you'll be on your own tonight"
There was this important late night party
that she had to go to with daddy
I was brave and old enough, wasn't I ?
and it was only a few hours' time.

I smiled to myself bubbling with thoughts
Of what all I could do and what not !
Here at last was my share of freedom..
Oh, how I would boast to my friends at dawn !!

No sooner did they turn their back on me
I rushed to the refrigerator in glee,
stuffing myself with forbidden goodies,
scheming my next action already...
Dad's room had this mammoth bath tub
The only time I'd used it, it badly needed a scrub :P
But here it was bouncing happily at my plan,
God only knows for how long I swam !
Exhausted at last, I stretched on the hammock
In mom's balcony, we dangerously rocked,
picturing the stories I would tell my friends,
smiling away at my unforeseen luck...
And lo! he stepped into my sight,
creeping towards me, dark as the night;
I screamed in terror as he approached,
helpless as I was as I swung to and fro.
The most feared enemy of us all -
he blocked my way into the hall
I couldn't stop my hammock, blow,
the only other way was the 3 floors' fall !!
I tasted my tears trickling down,
all my heroics swiftly drowned..
I must have been screaming really loud,
or I 'd have heard my parents back in the house.

My dear brave mother came to the rescue -
producing a broom from out of the blue,
she banged on the spider until he was dead...
and took me in her arms while my dad shook his head.

I just (re)called to say…

2009-05-12T21:46:00.000-07:00

Infineon turns a grand old ten

Dating back (no pun) I was in school then!

Nevertheless since I have been here

There is many a reason to have no fear

The super power it is - is one

No matter if it reduces it some

To appease the energy tight market

Shrinking as it grows instead.

“Never stop shrinking??!”

Generally generous – number two

The money we make is good & true

Though we love to whine and curse

We sure can have a good fat purse

Perks to iron out our lives – three
How I love flaunting them, gee
Food, WFH, refunds galore
Even if we can do with some more ;)

Talk of travel – that’s a big four
With heavenly places on Earth to explore..
Haven’t most of us had that chance?
A sumptuous stay or a fleeting glance..?

5
EMF, centre stage – is high-five ;)

For trying to keep us all alive!

Amidst stressful work weeks

They gel fun with surprising ease

6
No ugly scandals – and that’s a six!
You see; ghosts and employees aren’t mixed
Though with some, you can’t tell one from the other: P
They aren’t a matter of national bother.

7, 8
Hmmm seven and eight ???
Better there than late -
I say it is TT and the games
Without which we’d go insane.

“Networking” I’ll say comes at nine
Count “in-house couples” and you’ll take time ;)
Lonely souls who wouldn’t have met..
But for…, hey no points for that guess !

Last, not least, at a staggering ten
Kudos to the spirit of our women and men

Who make pieces of a grand jigsaw

No puzzle, Infineon inspires awe.

India

2009-04-28T00:53:00.000-07:00

Behold if you are from foreign lands
When you step on Indian sands
It is best you know what awaits you
From an insider who speaks only the truth ;-)
The reason for you to come
Could be travel, work or fun
Whatever the reason might be
The other two are offered free!
Not exactly, if there are conmen on the way..
..But you can retaliate in their language -
Which is not easy all said and done
With quite a few you'll have to learn..
But you'll find people ready to help
Coming to your rescue on the slightest yelp
But if you are not a one for crowds
You must escape to nature's abode
The mountains, rivers and the forests
Will give your eyes no time to rest
And after that long, tiring journey
When you realize you are hungry
You must taste every variety of food
Else coming here would be no good
Only you might want to go low on spice
Unless you want to turn red in a trice
Colours .. oh! you'll find aplenty
In skins, cultures and nature's bounty
The latter due to the many seasons -
Diversity, yet again, finds a reason.
But then the place will grow on you
And you'll feel you belong, no matter how new
You'll know what I mean if you'll stay
With a native of this land even for a day
Here I take your leave ;)
Any more you mightn't believe !

The first rain!!!

2009-03-12T10:04:00.000-07:00

Magic alone it can be

What else inspires such pleasure?

For heaven and earth as they speak

Spark the lightening and thunder

With a sway of His wand, and a gust of His wind

It is a tranformed land, as yesterday rescinds

Ushering in a fresh tomorrow

With the fragrance of hope

If ever it could be borrowed

If ever there was a lope

Such a harmony it brings.. from its so awaited touch

First on Earth, then in the winds - that only magic can be such.

Back on track

2009-02-26T20:52:00.000-08:00

How indignant of me
How very unfair
That my page waits to see
Its promised share
And on I go with my whims
Conveniently unaware?
I deserve a smack, dont ya think
Well add to that a cold stare :(
But ain't it true, my sands-of-rhyme
That incomplete is all without a pair ?
I have known this all the time ;)
So find your rhythm when you aren't there.

Take a bow

2009-02-22T03:37:00.000-08:00

One moment there's utter nervousness and the next, complete submission. Before the tick of a second you are in the dark and after, you stand to face the world. The air bounces from a hostile chill to the rhythm of a well known harmony. Fear slips aside so like the curtains that separate life and what is larger than life.

When you feel the heart throbbing willingly to obey the music, no matter who else is judging, you know you have given in. You know you can't go wrong. So true is the call that every inch of you suspends any hesitance; finding a unknown confidence even in the surrender - predicting, responding, making it your own. What would the world be without such an expression of moods? An expression that makes beautiful each of them - anger, joy, grief, love. Perhaps the only ever that leaves you happy in the end. The only that challenges every iota in you to culminate in a beautiful you, a better you, a fulfilled you. No matter what age, colour, size or shape, if there is one thing that lures all alike, offers even a spark of limelight, and pride even in the most hapless soul; it is - no points for guessing - DANCE.

What would we be without this creation, this assortment of magic from thin air, from a state of nothingness back to that, only leaving behind a memory that can make a beggar feel like a king? Three cheers to this comon man's champagne for lifting spirits :P... for making life easier.. for letting be when there is no more purpose. For reminding you what you so carelessly forget - only you can be you.

The song of liberation -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpdzBdAnZ1k&feature=channel_page

Celebrating love

2009-02-11T21:00:00.000-08:00

Not very long ago
My world was black & white
With a li'l joy, li'l sorrow
It wasn't the best of sights

I was a strong one, I was
Had seen some ups and downs
Transparent as a looking glass
I spoke my mind to the town

I had foes and I had friends
Yet I groped in the darkness
Fumbling to tie the loose ends
Just there, no more, no less

You wouldn't say that was me
Oh you wouldn't I am sure
From when I ve set my eyes on thee
I am (believe it or not..) cured :)

Life's suddenly colorful, there's joy
I know now what it is to care
Though I still have my own voice
There is now a ring of truth in there

You've turned my world around
And I am happy to just be
A miracle as it may sound
You are nothing less to me.

Break banta hai

2009-02-01T21:16:00.001-08:00

Is there something out there
Or do I wait in vain
Is there at all a sweet end
As I promise myself in pain?

When one is full of hope
A pin pricks out it all
Soars high up in dreams,
To often end in a fall

How soon we overlook
The joy in the doing
Set our eyes on the goal so much
To fail to see us moving?

Is there need for a goal?
Maybe for a time..
But defining joy if nothing
Is a trick of our own mind

So next time before a prick
You needn't wait so long
When there is a fall to dust
A laugh, can surely urge you along?

Goals queue up one after another
And very few can get to them all
When the choice exists to stand and stare
Why not have a good time, its your call!

Little journeys

2009-01-20T22:14:00.000-08:00

I still remember a day in school after my exams when my mind was raring to go places. I stood waiting for my dad who dropped me home every noon in his lunch break. I spotted a man selling refills for ball point pens and he hunched with a plastic bag full of them. He approached every boy and girl who, by the way, would not even dream of any book for a long long time - leave alone a refill, on the last day of exams. Poor marketing strategy, eh? Anyway he persuaded some and when he turned his back to them he made faces, stopping sometimes to sniff at the refill in hand. He looked a thug alright with a tattered shirt and hair that looked like he had tried all the inks in his refills on them. He moved into a sidey dark lane and I saw him fumble into his shirt pockets in there. Something made me alert. Then he emerged, went to a little girl from my own school and took her hand and crossed the road with her. They vanished on the other side behind buildings. I was sure he was upto no good; looking and sniffing as he did. In my mind he was already a drug dealer on the lookout for kids who would give in to him... and he traded the stuff in his refills! I vowed never to use a ball point pen again. I was on the verge of going into my school and informing my teacher about him when my dad crashed in.... shaking me awake. I looked around clearly disappointed. Still at it, I dodged my impatient father to look for the small girl where I had seen the thug pick her. She was still sucking from her tiny water bottle happily and looked up at me with a "sssuuurrrrr". I lingered back angry yet unwilling to accept that I had dreamed it all. My dad, obviously angry that I was eating into his lunch time, propped me up on my seat on his bajaj scooter and purred along. All the way home, I ranted about the refill guy playing aloud my suspicions that he might be in a racket to endanger my school; and vehemently forced him to do something about it. We reached home on my most high-pitched plea and he looked at me and said "Of course I am doing something about this. No more Enid Blytons for you this vacation".

Stupid strikes

2008-11-12T03:16:00.000-08:00

The strange feel that creeps
When someone you adore leaps
Suddenly out of the blue
And doesn't even look at you
Leaves you hot and cross
Makes you go for a toss
Curses you have never known
Escape leaving behind a frown
And just when you look the ugliest
Like a farmer who's discovered a pest
Just then turns the blessed soul
With a "sorry I was on the phone"
And flashes the loveliest of smiles
That'll make your heart run miles
The brain just can't match pace
So the ugly look is still on the face
The only way you could turn it well
Is by claiming you were under a spell
That breaks when a frog-turned-prince
Stops by to catch a glimpse
And when you muster all that wit...
All the blessed soul does is blink !
And you get back to the quest in vain
For someone with a little more brains :P
Or like the wise .... ahem, save all your charm
TO TAKE THE BLOGGERS WORLD BY STORM !!!! :D

Haiku - From a friend's pen

2008-11-12T03:08:00.000-08:00

I read
Knowledge grows
Pride envelops.

I awaken

Look around

Grope through the darkness.

I question
And reason
The answer eludes.

I laugh
And cry
Time Flies.

The sun sets
Day ends
Peace at last !!!

2008-11-02T09:44:00.000-08:00

Code of conduct

2008-10-19T23:52:00.000-07:00

Wondered if the world is not what it seems ?
If things need not be what they mean ?

Us folks - we wake up, brush, freshen up
Go about our chores, do them only with some luck

Often mess up and end up doing different
Than that that was the actual intent

We stretch longer than necessary
Can't understand ourselves - sorry

No matter how varied we come
We are more than just common

Does not all this ring a bell?
Aren't we what we er..write so well ?

A piece of code that God must've written
Makes me wonder if he is human..

Crack this one

2008-08-08T03:46:00.000-07:00

They come through chimneys
They aren't owls
They quack and pick
They aren't fowls

They bend big men
They melt stern ladies
They can be very hostile
and still put you at ease

They are pink and red
They don't grow on trees
There is no stopping them
They'll do as they please

You wonder at one
Then again at the next
I am talking about babies
If you still haven't guessed!

Meet us

2008-07-14T20:29:00.000-07:00

A lone soul wakes up to his day
Clothed in luxury, riches for play
A spent cigar for the tree to flare
A car a cloud of smoke on his way

Outside his workplace as usual
Bumps into another like a ritual
The victim is all set for a duel
Our pal is predictably cruel

In his seat with a steaming cup
Turns on the system and prays for luck
To win games that he loses for duck
While his boss believes he is into work

Outside creepy crawly hands
Work on almost everything on land
Chiselling and axing away stands
Churning up pools of sand

Our pal gets an "onsite" chance
Runs without a second glance
Returns with more fat and stance
Still in the dreamy trance

Finally he sets for home
When he is engulfed by a smoky dome
Where once all roads led to Rome
He now sees a changed town

Endlessly in search of his abode
He wanders, hit by crowds on the roads
No trees or lakes or open doors
Like a lost animal on all fours

He sees no home, he sees no friends
He was too busy to anticipate this end
With all the warnings, that he himself sent
He is but the cause of the trend

My bucket list

2008-06-30T21:58:00.000-07:00

This is what I want to do
This is how I see
A world deep green and blue
A place sparkling clean

I want to blow up all smoke
Spread scent of flowers in place
Patch up things that are broke
And add a touch of grace

I want to see happy men
Make it easy to be a child
And this every now and then
So no one stops being wild

Wildness is good for the world
Passion is good for the self
It can turn a prisoner to a bird
Make life lovable, not something else

I want there to be goodwill
Make people forget what they dislike
Enjoy their journey uphill
As much as the downslides

This is what I want to do
This is what I see
The sooner this'll come true
The sooner everyone agrees!!

Just a thought

2008-05-27T01:21:00.000-07:00

It was a fleeting time
When you and I met
That came like a gust of wind
And went away like a wave

Was it you or a changed world
was it you or did I have wings
was it my own dreams come true
or the new ones that you gave

Was it the daylight or your presence
was it the night or your arms
It must have been too precious
Even for me to save

The whiff of wind that blew
Oh why didn't it take me with you
I would have come without a regret
Not remained waiting by your grave

You & I...

2008-05-07T00:07:00.000-07:00

Every day I want to fly
Stay with me by my side

..wish the mornings would just stay

~~~~~~
Every noon when the sun's up high
So are we..you and I

..wish the noons would just stay

~~~~~~
Every evening I am so tired
I still find you by my side

..And wish the evenings would just stay

~~~~~~
Every night I dream anew
Help me make every single one true

.. wish the nights would just stay

Back with a thud

2008-04-28T00:05:00.001-07:00

Back from a break, why can't I think?
I chase a thought, end up in a blink
When I remember to imagine, I forget to ink
When I have my words, I lose the link :x

My mind goes all footloose !
Will stop only to muse
My pen chasing this wildgoose
Drains out with no clues

Perhaps I need another break :)
After which I'll do another take
Let's see then what I can make
A nice li'l story or another mistake ;)

All's fair

2008-03-28T12:00:00.000-07:00

One succeeds
One feels pride
It is but justified.

One awakens
Maybe to darkness
So he can appreciate the bright side.

One ponders
When there are'nt answers
He goes against the tide.

One laughs
One cries
That is life's ride.

2008-03-28T11:56:00.000-07:00

Thindipendence day at work - Aug 15,2007

2008-03-17T00:40:00.000-07:00

I chased a feather

2008-03-07T01:08:00.000-08:00

It was lying on the road
Ever so small, calling out to me
As I walked along humming
Unaware of its tricks

It rose to my eyes
When I saw it bouncing
My song took a new note
To go with my lifted spirits

High and low it took me
Moving away with gusts of air
For some moments I lost myself
Trying to find it, now still, now adrift

I chased a feather
Skipping along without a worry
Even as I let it go
'Joy in the air', me amidst..

All in the game

2008-03-03T02:59:00.001-08:00

I sat chatting with my boss one day
Told him that if I could have my way
I would make ads and not integrated chips
A dream job that I had missed..

Smart that he was, he asked me for a sample
Said playing table tennis at work must not happen
"Design a poster for the same...
No egos are to be hurt in the game"

There I was between my pals and boss
Whichever side I took promised a loss
What I did do was love all, play ;)
My loyalty was for ads anyway :)

Get set

2008-02-25T22:43:00.000-08:00

I loved something not knowing fully well
Yearned for the path, not the end
Worked hard to get there, rose and fell
Stopped short when it came, thought of something else.

Now I might not like the new journey
Only the goal that seems far
There is no one who can tell me
If I am at peace or at war.

I still will march ahead
I will let go the past with a sigh
My goal in mind instead
I will continue to try.

Come again another day

2008-02-11T02:51:00.000-08:00

As rain trickles down
And washes all the town
The smell of Earth rises
Fresh as new dawn

All the heat escapes
Leaving behind a new landscape
Like a painter's canvas - wet yet
So unique - there can't be a fake

Minds clear with the clouds
Calm surfaces nice and loud
The feel of goodness that trickles
Can make a loser feel proud

Even as the first drops come
And glisten on leaves in the sun
You want it to start again
cos there's no joy quite like this one..

Bangalore roads are many things to many people..

2008-01-28T05:09:00.000-08:00

A stage where all performers lean or big perform with equal swerve
A test of patience for those who think they are going places
A doctor's prescription for acupressure for wheels
An orchestra with conductors too :P
Out there to prove the 'garden city' a myth
An ailing man's death bed, literally
A battle field for the slow learners
Where one gets to 'fly over', left, right and centre
Can they get better? They definitely seem to have the bandwidth!

Hope

2008-01-21T01:23:00.000-08:00

In all my confused and foggy thoughts
You seem a steady bright light
Willing me to hesitate not
Close my eyes and cling on tight

As I see you, no drought or storm
Can dampen your endearing warmth
I seek to get a share of which
And you evade me like a golden snitch

You seem so near, you seem so far
All else to me is eternal dark
Lest I drown, reach out, hand me the rope
It is not simply that I call you my hope.

Closed Doors

2008-01-01T23:51:00.000-08:00

Excuses for not following rhyme
Please put up with this some times ;)

I wake up to feel the warmth of the sun under my rug. It was a cold night but it is a warmer morning. As usual I find my way amidst the mess (called my room) and get ready for the day. I find my breakfast in the refrigerator, placed there by the cook yesterday. I warm it and wash it down with coffee. It has been long since I saw good food. Not since my mom hand packed my lunch box to school. Though I ate more from my friends’ then. Well that is what every one else says too. So there.
The room is not supposed to look so bad. I pay the girl to keep it tidy, but then, I guess she knows I can’t oversee her much and seems to think the room her own. I would have kept my own room tidier though, wouldn’t I?
I sit in my car and my driver drives me to the university where I teach. I always loved teaching and ended up here when I lost my research job after a minor accident. I carelessly misjudged the quantity of a chemical I was experimenting on, and it backfired. I tried to sue my employer but realized I would lose and gracefully stepped out. I have not looked back, since.
Now then, I am back here, the good old place I graduated from, with many old chums around. It does feel like coming back home. Home was also good to go back to, sometime ago. That was when my beautiful wife would wait for me with candles lit in the room and rich food personally made, not by her, but by the expert cook from the hotel downtown. I fell in love with her over the years together in the same job. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen and will ever see. She was always the better of the two, at the firm. In fact she headed the experiment that turned me out. Why did she love me? I was not exactly beastly looking, and was the most qualified of the lot at work. We loved each other but then things are not always the same. Post my firing, we could not see eye-to-eye in many matters and she eventually chose to part ways. I could not hold her back.
Today, I have to witness my students’ presentations on chemistry and grade them. I am all set to hear them out. I reach my destination, tell the driver to pick me up again in the evening and walk in. The bell has just gone and there is chaos. I hear Mary shouting a “good morning, professor” and return it. She is the sweet girl who does the cleaning in the garden. I like the fact that at the university, people make way for me as I walk. I nod to them and move on. My room is the fifth on the right and I mechanically walk to it. I have another cup of coffee before I take the class. There is the lift beside my room that takes me to the next floor where I hold my class. My students are as always, happy to see me. I know I am a lenient professor, not worrying about them copying from each others’ answers in the exams. I have always prioritized on them gaining practical knowledge. I enjoy our laboratory sessions together where I just sit at the table and tell them what colours their specimen should turn at the end of their experiments. I can tell that I teach well going by their avid interest and questions. As I said, today is the day of presentations from them. I sit back and relax. The presentations are interesting, most of them have made a big effort in collecting data, conducting experiments and consolidating results. They also put it across well. Only occasionally I correct them. I hear whispers from the back benches, in between. There are always some students who want to make their presence felt. I don’t bother to walk to them and show them out. No, I am not in the mood for it. I throw the chalk that is in my hand, backwards and hear no sounds after.
I tell them I will let their grades out the next evening and leave them. It is lunch time. I go back to my room, put down my books, wash my hands and walk out when John meets me. He is the professor for music at the university. He puts his arm across my shoulder affectionately and we walk together, slowly, to the pantry. We talk little, as is always the case when John is around. He is absorbed with one composition or the other and does little but hum. I have my lunch and discuss the day’s news with my colleagues. There are plans to see the soccer match being played nearby, in the weekend. I am offered a ticket too, but I decline. I say “let someone else go”. I attend a meeting with the department heads, post lunch, and as there is nothing else to hold me till evening, I call my driver to pick me up now. He says he is attending a personal call and will send someone else, if that is alright. I say no and hang up. I think for a while and decide to go myself. It has been long since I had a walk on those streets alone. I want to do it today. I set out when Mary offers to give me company. I say, thank you but I would take the trip alone. I walk till the park; there is no traffic at this time in the noon. The day has turned out to be cloudy. I choose to sit in the park for a while, breathing in fresh air and the scent of impending showers. I trip over something and barely manage to stay up. An old woman ( I could not have known her age but for her voice), offers to help me and takes me to a bench nearby. She says a blind man like me should not be loitering around without help. I flash her a smile and tell her I prefer to see it through myself. She laughs and goes away. I can sense the darkness creeping in early.
It was not always so dark. The experiment cost me more than my job. This is the same place where I had told my wife,
“You needn’t buy all those expensive clothes to impress me, honey. My love is blind”.
To which, she had taken my hand in hers and replied –
“There is no chemistry without colours, open up your mind”.
As the rain trickles down, I sit there playing back pictures from the past. I long to be my old self again, but then, I think of now and know that things are not half as bad as what they could have been. I tell myself “what the heck?” Nobody questions my point of view, now.
So there.

Once Upon A Hill

2008-01-01T19:55:00.000-08:00

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
Walking by the pastures
It was much the same
twas the same old game
But for the usual chatter..

Jill was very grim
She was angry with him
He’ d sold her darling pup..
Jack had tried to speak
He had an apology to seek
This noon ,though, he had given it up.

Half way up
They saw the li’l pup
As it rushed close faster
Jill had not a clue
It had leapt out of the blue
To trail behind its master.

Jack waited for a sign
To see if all was fine..
He could kick himself for the mess
Jill looked up at the sky
Walked with her head high
She couldn’t seem to care less…

Atlast atop the hill
When their pails had been filled
And the pup thumped down in style..
Jack joined with a face that could wail,
Ready to wag if he had the tail
…….Jill could not hide her toothless smile..

Sixty years since they’d met
They could still fight over a pet
But then things would be alright
To see Jack and Jill
Together down the hill
Was indeed a happy sight ….

Dachau

2007-12-22T05:34:00.001-08:00

If you heard that around 1945
You would practically cry
That's the least Hitler's first concentration camp can do
When it was looked upto as the "best" too.

The site crawls up beyond a black gate

Wrapped by electric barbs, upon gravel & hate

As cold and empty as the death it spurned

Brought to life only by the stories of the burned.

A main office sits at the centre, where cruel plans were laid
How suffering prisoners could be tortured, traitors repaid
Adjoining a firing wall that came to their plans' aid
Where executions thrived, blood spilled so lives could fade.

The wall grows into the true special prisons
Here priests, assassins were housed for treason
Hung by the wrists, gnawed at by dogs
Put in "standing cells" where they'd be as alive as logs.

The other side of the camp is just as dreading
With traces of "bunkers" for average prisoners' housing
Only they were often packed much beyond capacity
With deliberate shortages in all facility.

The goriest part is perhaps the gas chamber
Next to a hungry crematorium that personifies danger
Now, flanked though it is, by holy cathedrals
Nothing can amend the pointless burials.

"Work brings freedom" is what the walls once echoed
If we could ask the dead, the truth would be told
Dachau started where freedom ceased
Only their souls now can be wished peace.

The urge to write this is not sickness, no
Only a humble attempt for the world to know
That no mankind should ever face
What Dachau proudly put in place.

First step

2007-12-15T04:06:00.000-08:00

Well this is the first step - sands of rhyme
Ahead you will find a piece of my mind